I Can't Even...

Some days it's the small things that make me happy.  A few weeks ago, my coworker brought me this little Prayer Box.  The kind thoughtful gestures mean a lot.   I am so guilty of taking those little things for granted sometimes.   But I am certainly making an effort to recognize them now, and going forward.  Again, I am so so blessed to be surrounded by such great people.   Some, I've known forever, some only a short time.   But wow, I've had some people placed in my path for a reason.  I know this beyond any shadow of a doubt.    Anyway, the box, I put 2 things in this little box, almost immediately.  Today one of those prayers were answered, I just wanted the Oncotype Test to be a low #.   About 4 weeks ago,  my biopsy sample was sent for an "Oncotype" test.   Yeah, I had no idea what that meant either, but I'm getting an education whether I want it or not.  This test looks at the genes in your cancer sample...

Oh so many decisions to make.  It's hard.    What do you do?  I've been overwhelmed with information, testing, testimonials, statistics.....What do you do?  The doctors don't want to sway you one way or the other.   It's got to be YOUR choice. For me, my options were lumpectomy with radiation, or mastectomy. We are unsure about chemo at this point. My mind was made up for the the most part, prior to getting the genetic testing results.  But that just confirmed it for me.  For me, there is an elevated risk for almost all cancers. Bi-Lateral Mastectomy it is.   I'm opting for reconstruction - which is a future post all on it's own. I had to give up nicotine for the plastic surgeon I wanted to even consider doing the recon, but I'm 3 weeks Nicotine free now.....But I digress. I gave my decision to the surgeon last week.   He agreed.   I talked to my GP about it, he told me it is what he'd recommend to his wife, so that made m...

So deciding to do Genetic testing, was not an easy thing.   Where do you draw the line?   Are some things just better left unknown?   Believe me, I asked myself all of these questions, and more! But at the end of the day, I felt knowledge was power.   Power for me to make a good treatment decision, power for my children and their futures.   Power.  And when you are feeling powerless, you jump for any semblance of power. I was fully expecting the the results to come back in as either BRCA1 or BRCA2 positive. (you can read more about those terms here)  BRCA   But they did not - so sort of good news!   However, there was a mutation called PMS2  (you can read about that here)   PMS2 For me, that also means a hysterectomy in my near future.   And a colonoscopy. While knowledge is power, sometimes it's too much to digest. I can only fight one cancer at a time people!! I feel like I'm losing everything that makes me a woman....

I'll never forget those words of the lovely Nurse Navigator, "Did you bring someone with you Miss Robin?" I knew it was not the news I was expecting to hear as soon as I heard those words.   And, I was right. There was an 80% chance the micro calcifications found on the mammogram and in the biopsy were nothing.   80% - those are pretty darn good odds!!   But they weren't for me that day.     July 18th by the way - a day I will never forget.  A day permanently etched in my history.... My response, "No, I did not bring anyone with me, I was expecting GOOD news, as you all told me the odds were with me." So I made an oath that day - I was not going to put much stock in the the law of statistics.  I would follow my gut instincts instead.   And that's what I've been doing.   Whether good or bad, I guess that remains to be seen.   But I'm doing what I think is best for me, and the best outcome for a long life I hope. I officially have ...

Have to say, it's not been the best summer of my life.   There have been some great moments (ziplining in the Smokey Mountains, making new friends), but the cloud of uncertainty hanging over me, has definitely been a downer. The Timeline:  June 9, 2017  - Routine Mammogram  June 15, 2017 - Follow-up Mammogram and Ultrasound for "suspicious" findings July 11, 2017 - Stereotactic Biopsy (core Needle)  July 18, 2017 - Results from Biopsy.   Invasive Ductile Carcinoma, Grade 1, Stage 1  July 25, 2017 - Meeting with Genetics Counselor, Medical Oncologist, and Radiation Oncologist.  August 1, 2017  - Meeting with Plastic Surgeon  August 2, 2017  - 2nd Opinion and Meeting with Breast Surgeon.  August 8. 2017 - Meeting with General Doctor  August 17, 2017 - Meet with Breast Surgeon again - Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy Scheduled for 8/29/2917 - and results and surgery date to happen on 9/6/17. And here w...